"I killed two commies like butter thanks to the patented smooth assist technology of my Coast Rapid Response pocket-knife." -Jeremy Joseph Christian (Accused Murderer).
UPDATE: This post is being updated to draw attention to comments below the video. Also to mention the circumstances in which this testimonial was obtained. Even though it is a real testimonial that CopBlaster.com was given permission to use. It is highly unlikely that Jeremy ever thought that the Cop Blaster would be in a position to actually present him as a product pitch man. He also did not appear to be taking the proposal or his the testimonial he responded with seriously. Sometimes when people are in a bad situation they resort to making light of their circumstances as a coping mechanism. That is the case with Jeremy Christian.
THE ORIGINAL "AD" CONTINUES:
In the summer of 2017 accused murderer Jeremy Joseph Christian gave the founder of CopBlaster.com an exclusive customer testimonial for the Coast Rapid Response Blade-Assist Knife that he used to kill two people and seriously injure a third, on a crowded Max commuter train just a couple of months earlier. The CopBlaster.com founder got the idea for the testimonial while Jeremy was showing him some if his paperwork in the 4C housing unit at the Multnomah County Detention Center (MCDC) where both men were housed as inmates. He noticed a screenshot from the website of Coast Knives showing a Coast Rapid Response Knife and a picture of a Coast Rapid Response Knife in evidence. Realizing that He could probably use an affiliate program to promote the knife without needing permission from the knife company, he pitched the idea of making Jeremy Christian a spokesman.
Originally his testimonial was just, "I killed two commies like butter." He tried to change it to other things such as, "like a hot knife through butter" or "kills commies quick," but the Cop Blaster liked the first one butter. Still, it needed more. It needed to include the name of the product and something unique about the product. He looked at the Coast website screenshot again and noticed several things that would be useful in a product testimonial. The page talked about patented "Smooth Assist Technology", and the "Max Lock", so he suggested that Jeremy amend his testimonial to end with "thanks to that patented smooth assist technology of my Coast Rapid Response pocket-knife." Jeremy agreed and the Cop Blaster eventually took the testimonial home with him.
The publication of the testimonial was delayed until it was time for his trial because people would probably be more interested in it then. Now that his trial starts in a week here it is. Is this advertisement in poor taste? Posting this ad was debated given the circumstances of the case from which the testimonial is derived. Ultimately, it was concluded that nothing available on the internet better demonstrates the capabilities of this product than Jeremy Christian's story. He used the product as designed. Coast Rapid Response Knives are designed to be deployed in combat quickly and inflict maximum damage on the enemy. Christian deployed his Coast knife so quickly and used it so effectively that he killed two men in a matter of seconds while drunk. It is hard to think of any pocket-knife being that effective. Other pocket-knives might have gotten stuck or are just harder to deploy in a pinch for other reasons. A lesser knife may have been too dull or too weak to cause "a fracture of the C1 vertebrae from the impact."
Personally, the Cop Blaster wishes he had one of those knives. Unfortunately, as the charges against Jeremy show, possessing one of those as a convicted felon is a legal liability, so he does not have one. If you watch the video on this page you can see just how quickly and easily it can be used. Reminiscent of a switch blade in some ways. If you want to buy one just click on the link on this page that says "Buy Your Own Coast Rapid Response Knife" located to the left of the map on a desktop or above the map on a mobile device, and beneath the jail address.
CopBlaster.com is not affiliated with Coast Products. CopBlaster.com signed up for a revenue sharing program with a vendor that sells Coast Products and receives a percentage for every order sold by that vendor.