Exclusive: Jeremy Christian Murder Weapon Customer Testimonial

Jeremy Joseph Christian and Coast Knife
Jeremy Joseph Christian and Coast Knife
Blast Zone No. 3357 - 6 Comments
Set Up On:
Category: Other - Resources
Current Jail Address:
1120 SW Third Ave.
Portland, Oregon 97204
State or Oregon v. Jeremy Christian:

"I killed two commies like butter thanks to the patented smooth assist technology of my Coast Rapid Response pocket-knife." -Jeremy Joseph Christian (Accused Murderer).


UPDATE: This post is being updated to draw attention to comments below the video. Also to mention the circumstances in which this testimonial was obtained. Even though it is a real testimonial that CopBlaster.com was given permission to use. It is highly unlikely that Jeremy even thought that the Cop Blaster would be in a position to actually present him as a product pitch man. He also did not appear to be taking the proposal or the testimonial he responded with seriously. Sometimes when people are in a bad situation they resort to making light of their circumstances as a coping mechanism. That is the case with Jeremy Christian. On the other hand he is claiming self defense so this could be the testimonial of someone that was really afraid of getting beat up and reached for the only thing he felt he needed to defend himself.


THE ORIGINAL "AD" CONTINUES:


In the summer of 2017 accused murderer Jeremy Joseph Christian gave the founder of CopBlaster.com an exclusive customer testimonial for the Coast Rapid Response Blade-Assist Knife that he used to kill two people and seriously injure a third, on a crowded Max commuter train just a couple of months earlier. The CopBlaster.com founder got the idea for the testimonial while Jeremy was showing him some if his paperwork in the 4C housing unit at the Multnomah County Detention Center (MCDC) where both men were housed as inmates. He noticed a screenshot from the website of Coast Knives showing a Coast Rapid Response Knife and a picture of a Coast Rapid Response Knife in evidence. Realizing that He could probably use an affiliate program to promote the knife without needing permission from the knife company, he pitched the idea of making Jeremy Christian a spokesman.


Originally his testimonial was just, "I killed two commies like butter." He tried to change it to other things such as, "like a hot knife through butter" or "kills commies quick," but the Cop Blaster liked the first one butter. Still, it needed more. It needed to include the name of the product and something unique about the product. He looked at the Coast website screenshot again and noticed several things that would be useful in a product testimonial. The page talked about patented "Smooth Assist Technology", and the "Max Lock", so he suggested that Jeremy amend his testimonial to end with "thanks to that patented smooth assist technology of my Coast Rapid Response pocket-knife." Jeremy agreed and the Cop Blaster eventually took the testimonial home with him.


The publication of the testimonial was delayed until it was time for his trial because people would probably be more interested in it then. Now that his trial starts in a week here it is. Is this advertisement in poor taste? Posting this ad was debated given the circumstances of the case from which the testimonial is derived. Ultimately, it was concluded that nothing available on the internet better demonstrates the capabilities of this product than Jeremy Christian's story. He used the product as designed. Coast Rapid Response Knives are designed to be deployed in combat quickly and inflict maximum damage on the enemy. Christian deployed his Coast knife so quickly and used it so effectively that he killed two men in a matter of seconds while drunk. It is hard to think of any pocket-knife being that effective. Other pocket-knives might have gotten stuck or are just harder to deploy in a pinch for other reasons. A lesser knife may have been too dull or too weak to cause "a fracture of the C1 vertebrae from the impact."


Personally, the Cop Blaster wishes he had one of those knives. Unfortunately, as the charges against Jeremy show, possessing one of those as a convicted felon is a legal liability, so he does not have one. If you watch the video on this page you can see just how quickly and easily it can be used. Reminiscent of a switch blade in some ways. If you want to buy one just click on the link on this page that says "Buy Your Own Coast Rapid Response Knife" located to the left of the map on a desktop or above the map on a mobile device, and beneath the jail address.


CopBlaster.com is not affiliated with Coast Products. CopBlaster.com signed up for a revenue sharing program with a vendor that sells Coast Products and receives a percentage for every order sold by that vendor.


Detectives confirmed the type of knife used in the killings today. It appears to be an older model of this type of knife. The color of the blade is quite tarnished but the button is basically the same.

URA SICK ASSHOLE!!!


NOBODY IS GUNNA TO BUY THIS STUPID ASS KNIFE CUZ O UR TWISTED AD

Most people probably wouldn't have started swinging, but then again most people don't have PTSD, they don't have a history of losing fights, and they don't have a metal plate in their face that could kill them if hit in the wrong spot. The stakes for some people are much higher in that situation.


I'm don't want to blame the guy that shoved him for what happened next simply because he wasn't holding the knife, but I think if they had just backed off a bit they would have been fine.

I believe that he feared for his safety because if what people accuse him of saying is true then he said a bunch of things someone is likely to get their ass kicked for saying around here. Then three men circled up on him in a crowded area. Eventually by all accounts there was a point when he had the knife, wasn't doing anything with it other than taking a defensive stance, and then he was shoved. Now, think about this. You've just said a bunch of offensive stuff, you're outnumbered, you pull a knife not wanting to really use it, and they still put hand on you. What would you do?

The real Jeremy is somebody that uses dark humor as a coping mechanism and as a result makes a lot of really offensive comments. Think of him as someone that makes a joke at a funeral even though they are not happy or really think anything about it is funny.


When giving the testimonial or making similar comments they always seem to have an implied sarcastic thought like "isn't that just great?"


The general tone of his comments indicate a lot of self-loathing.

I was having to justify this posting with my lawyers today. They were thinking it would have been better if I didn't post it like a real advertisement for a product. I've second guessed this a lot but I guess I was hoping to grab people's attention so that I might be able to really talk about who Jeremy really is. The real Jeremy isn't the monster portrayed on the news or the guy that finally agreed to give a sarcastic testimonial to get an affiliate marketer away from his cell window. Truth be told I didn't give him much of a choice here. He had to give me a testimonial or I wouldn't leave.

Login to Comment using a CopBlaster.com Account.


 
 

Register if you don't have a local account.

Use another service to log in.


There are no external authentication services configured. See this article for reasons why ASP.NET applications should not support logging in via external services.