Coffee Bandit Caught Brown Handed by Bobby Hill and Mason Dawson

Blast Zone No. 178
Set Up On:
Current Jail Location:
901 Port Avenue
St Helens, Oregon 97051
Coffee Bandit's Write Up and Hearing:
Bobby Hill as Mason Dawson
Bobby Hill as Mason Dawson

There I sat in the Columbia County Jail (CCJ) having been busted by Bobby Hill, a former child star from Texas that grew up to become a corrections deputy with the Columbia County Sheriff's Office (CCSO). My offense? Trying to take me coffee to court in me sock like I had done many time before. What danger did I create to justify putting me in the hole? Couldn't he have just taken me coffee? C'mon man.

Bobby Hill is the only son of Hank and Peggy Hill of Arlen, Texas. Hank sells propane and propane accessories, and Peggy is a substitute teacher. He gained some notoriety in the 1990s as a child star on the Fox TV show King of the Hill. He goes by the name Mason Dawson now, but he is not fooling anyone. One look at him by anyone that has seen the show and he is instantly recognized.

Getting put in the hole by Bobby Hill just for having coffee in my sock was bad enough, but to make matters worse I had the chief of the Pettyville Police Department, Marti Kyles, as my adjudicator for my disciplinary hearing. She gave me several more days in the hole claiming that I caused Bobby Hill alarm with my coffee. I pointed out that the rules did not say anything about taking coffee or other commissary items to court, so she found me guilty of "other" and it was hard to argue against it. How does one argue against a rule against anything not in the rules that is retroactively determined to be undesirable by the staff? It is like they are saying "here are the rules and if we think of anything to add we will do so after you violate what we want to add." I ave seen many inmates asked the question, "what are you in for brother?" but I don't recall any ever answer the question with "other."

Funny thing about Kyles, in 2013 Andrew Barnett sued her for sexual harassment saying that she came on to him in the shower. Judge Ann Aiken dismissed the suit, but without reaching the merits of the claim because even if she had come onto him in the shower, that would not constitute cruel and unusual punishment under the 8th Amendment. Judge Aiken seemed to think that such conduct would be the opposite of cruel. She obviously has never seen Deputy Kyles because if she had she would have realized that the mere thought of sex with her would terrify even the most desperate of men. If she were to complete the act it certainly would be unusually cruel.

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