Deputy Ivan Johnson hates being asked about commissary sheets so much it is just too fun to ask him just to see if he will flip out on you. I even put up a sign in the unit at one point to trick new inmates into asking him. The sign said "Commissary Questions: Ask Deputy Johnson." Sure enough someone asked him about commissary sheets and he fired back something typical like "does it look like I work for Aramark? I am a Sheriff's deputy." He got so sick of me asking him that eventually he threatened to put me in the hole if I asked him again.
So, if you end up in the Columbia County Jail be on the lookout for Deputy Johnson and ask him about commissary sheets. Also, he does not usually wear glasses and the last time I saw him his head was shaved.